Are you a great conversationalist? Can you talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime? Perhaps you’ve mastered the art of chatting up women, your dentist, or, making polite conversation with anyone. However, talking to someone you’re attracted to is a different scenario, altogether! You may be a total pro at making small talk with anyone, but, when it comes to speaking to your dream woman, you can really have a fun night, and get to know each other well, if you know how to ask more meaningful questions.
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What type of topics should you stay away from? What is your “go to’’ question? Do you keep questions light and breezy, or, should you delve a little deeper? The right questions can spice up your conversation, and lead to fun, and flirtatious, banter. Ask the wrong ones, and your date could go south faster than a rocket. Recovering from a socially awkward moment is no problem at all – as long as you can swiftly, and with grace, switch to a new topic.
Change gear swiftly, and steer your conversation along a different path by knowing exactly what types of questions you should be asking, and when. Being prepared for all scenarios will make you more relaxed.
Understanding that women may share their life story with their hairdresser, but be reluctant to share personal information with you, for example, is important to remember. It’s about establishing trust. (More on that later!) Women may seem like mysterious creatures, at times, and often include great detail, when talking, and sharing their experiences.
The Dating Success: It’s All In The Conversation
Are you going on a date? Do you get nervous making conversation with members of the opposite sex? The key to any good conversation is to keep the conversation going, but, there are times – especially when you are getting to know someone – that knowing what kind of questions you can ask (And which to avoid like the plague!) is essential!
Not only might your date share her love of classic films with you, but, she may convert you too. By the end of the evening, you may have date two in the bag, and have made plans to watch a foreign French film. Yes, you can’t stand subtitles, but, her passion and obvious love for foreign cinema has won you over. We all want to make a good impression and learn about each other.
We will cover a huge range of areas, and you should remember a few golden rules!
- Never “interview’’ your date!
- Interesting – and ice-breaker – questions can start a conversation, but, be prepared to reciprocate!
- You may be opening a proverbial can of worms! Use your intuition and common sense and keep a backup question in your pocket.
Girls, generally, enjoy talking, especially about themselves, but also feel shy and nervous, and it may take a few random questions before you find a shared, common interest. A surefire way to make any conversation more interesting is to ask ‘specific’ questions? Details matter – do you like pizza, or, which are your favorite toppings? And are you a thick base or thin base fan? These are far more interesting, and detailed questions.
“Personally, I can’t stand anchovies, but maybe you’re a huge fan!”
“I can’t stand thin base pizza. I’m always hungry afterwards.”
Our differences make us interesting too!
Good Questions To Ask A Girl
In general, a woman enjoys telling stories. Any questions that you ask may lead to longish answers, especially if the lady in question is confident enough to share, her or opinions with you. However, women – of all ages – may be more guarded, in the beginning. Whether your date or new friend is confident- or shy- regardless- a woman may not be as forthcoming as you might like. But, women live talking? What is going on?
Like anyone, we may only share our true opinions, and feelings, once we trust the person. Trust is established over time. Are you trustworthy? You cannot reassure your date, it is something earned naturally, over time. Everybody is different. By date two, your new lady friend may be sharing her threesome fantasy with you. The best questions to ask a girl are specific, but open-ended, too. Questions can be implied, and you can add details. Never pry!
- Tell me about your hometown……
- I’d love to hear about your family ….
- Do you enjoy living in (name of your city)?
- Do you have a special nickname?
- Are you happy in your job? (*women enjoy, and share their emotions with friends, all the time) Do you have a dream job?
- Tell me about your friends? Do you keep in touch with friends from your school days?
- Have you seen any good movies recently? Which movie made you laugh, recently?
- If your life was a movie, who would you cast to play you?
- Do you like traveling? Camping? What kind of vacations do you enjoy?
- Would you like to visit Paris, or, New York?
“I’d love to travel more. I’ve dreamed of visiting my friends abroad, but, I’m quite busy at work.’’
“I’ve kept in touch with many of my school friends, I’m going to a reunion next year. It’s been ten years! How crazy is that!”
“I always dreamed of being a sexy, lawyer – like on Suits! “
“My friends call me Dirty Harriet, I can… use… Colorful language from time to time….”
These are all safe, general, questions – they are not overly personal, but, more interesting than just asking direct questions….interview style. Open-ended questions invite a person to talk more. Be sure to share your own answers, too. Interest conversations and good Questions lead naturally, to linked questions…let the conversation flow naturally.
Interesting Questions To Ask A Girl
Women, like any person, enjoy questions that may be a bit more challenging. Questions that require a little more thought can be both playful, or, intellectual. We’re not talking Einstein smarts, just questions that will move your conversation to a new level. These types of questions can lead to more colorful conversation topics, which will lead to a richer personal connection.
Questions can be about personal interests but also include links to more imaginative scenarios. Questions that are more challenging will always be more meaningful, but, it’s always good to remember good etiquette. Test the waters – don’t rush in and ask about controversial topics. Politics, religion, and money are not on the table unless you are firm friends. General questions about life and current affairs are acceptable, but, never, ever, push the proverbial envelope too far.
- Would you enjoy being on Survivor? Do you ever watch the show?
- What about the Amazing Race?
- What do you think of social media? How do you feel about our reliance on technology?
- How long could you cope without your phone? Do you ever take a break from tech?
- What do think about ghosts or aliens? Total hoax….or is there something out there?
- Have you ever met a celebrity? Would you like to?
- What do you think about reality TV? How do feel about the Kardashians?
- Do you believe in karma?
- What about Fate? Serendipity? Are people destined to meet?
- Would you adopt an animal from a shelter? Do you have pets? Cat or dog person?
“I just love dogs. I have a cutie called Max. He’s gorgeous, a cocker spaniel who I’m totally in love with. “
“I believe in ghosts, I’m sure you’re freaked out, but, I see ghosts all the time….”
These questions move into interesting topics: the idea that our lives are predetermined, in some way, or not. Ghosts, spirits, aliens – across time, many cultures, across the globe, have beliefs about what happens to us, after death.
Regardless of your religious views, you can have an interesting discussion about the belief systems of the world. If your date is quite conservative then it may be best to save the spooks conversation for when you are better acquainted.
Be warned – interesting questions come with interesting answers! Your dream girl may get mushy eyed, and tell you how close she was to her beloved pet. As a well-prepared gentleman, it’s a good idea to keep a Kleenex, or handkerchief on hand, for tears. On the flip side, you may be shocked to hear some bizarre answers too – your dream date may confess, in fact, that she regularly sees ghosts. Boldly ask interesting questions, but be prepared for answers that may just give you the chills.
Flirty Questions To Ask A Girl
The art of flirting can be learnt. Have no fear. Remember that successful flirtation is more about having fun, with a hint of seduction. An innocent question can be transformed into something a lot more sexy – but you have to speak in the right tone, and make sure you are relaxed. You won’t come across as charming if you’re trying too hard.
Get your Casanova on, and remember that body language will come into play too. Pay attention to your posture. Feel free to loosen up, and create an intimate space. A sweet nothing whisper in your date’s ear may have her walking on cloud nine. Be sure to have an arm handy to guide her to your table, and good old-fashioned manners, will not go amiss. Remember to pull out your dates’ chair, and to stand up, if she leaves the table. It’s an old-fashioned mark so respect and it will leave a good impression.
Flirty questions will add some spice, and fun, to your evening. Always be respectful, and enjoy the witty banter that will make it a night to remember. Remember that tone, body language, and your words may have a totally different – and more subtle – than the actual words you use.
- Shall we share dessert? Fancy something….sinful? Or sweet.
- Can I offer you a bite…, of my food?
- How is it possible that you’re single?
- Is all fair in love and war?
- Can I tempt you to share dessert? (Tempt and using sexy words, in general, will add some romance to your banter.)
- Shall we share Italian kisses? (Using the word ‘we’ is a great idea too. If your date is going well, your dream girl may be imagining something a little sweeter than chocolate covered ice-cream!)
- Would you like to know a secret? (Intrigue, and mystery, – or confessing your feelings – building tension, and growing closer, are a natural part of sharing a good connection. But, make sure you have something interesting to share. An anti-climax, or boring “confession will leave your date, underwhelmed.)
- How do you feel about rock climbing/scuba diving/sailing?
By suggesting future plans that are a little more adventurous, you will up the proverbial ‘ante”. The stakes are high though, with this type of flirtation, by implying future plans. It could go south fast, so have a backup suggestion at the ready. For eg:
- Do you like exploring food from different cultures?
- What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
- Have you ever been skinny dipping? Would you?
“My friends dared me to …well we all did it…we stripped down to our underwear and ran down a hill in a park. There may have been a few glasses of wine involved. It was nigh time, and empty…”
“Skinny dipping is my favorite! You feel so free….”
“I don’t kiss and tell…”
“The craziest thing…I can’t say…but let’s just say I have a wild side….”
Flirting is an art, and can work with wordplay, teasing – laughter, and the tone of your voice. There are many factors that influence attraction, but, studies do confirm that women enjoy the company of men who are able to make them laugh. Relax, have fun, and enjoy yourself! If the flirting gets scorching hot, then the next question ideas may come in very handy, indeed.
Dirty Questions To Ask A Girl
Proceed with caution! If the sparks are flying and you’re confident you can pull it off, without freaking your date, then enjoy being a little more provocative! Keep things clean, and subtle. The implied meaning will be more than enough to make your intentions crystal clear. Women have colorful, and active fantasies – but they are never going to share them with you unless they trust you. Women and men work from two different proverbial playbooks. For women, physical attraction to a man is generally not enough, to progress to dirty talk. Women, generally, need to feel emotionally connected, to a man, to indulge in more risqué conversation.
If you’ve been on a few dates, and you’re in relationship territory than go ahead. If not, and as much as you’re dying to ask your date how she feels about role play, in the bedroom, shut it down, pronto. If you’re in the relationship zone or dating exclusively, then, and only then, can you move to this level. Alternatively, if it’s more of a casual situation, then go ahead.
- Your place, or mine?
- Do you like coffee in the morning, or tea?
- It’s a good thing we’re in a public place….
- Shall we go somewhere a little more private?
- Tell me a secret fantasy….
- What is it about women and firemen? How do you feel about a man in uniform?
- Would you kiss a total stranger?
- Would you like a nightcap? A dirty martini? Sex On The Beach? Slippery nipple?
- Can I share a fantasy with you….?
- What’s the sexiest film you’ve ever watched?
“I think it’s the hero thing….men in uniform…Face danger and….are brave….it’s a sexy combination!”
Your dream girl isn’t one of the boys. There’s “dirty” and then there’s crude. Shared intimate fantasies, and keeping your language clean, may seem old-fashioned. However, there’s a lot more you can say, just with your tone of voice, and keeping a little mystery, is good too. There’s sharing, and oversharing. Pace yourself, and follow your dates’ lead. If she’s being coy, don’t feel rejected. Not everyone feels comfortable, voicing their fantasies, or, you may hear far too much!
Sexual Questions To Ask A Girl
It’s important to be responsible, and balance a moment of great passion, with practical questions too. Assuming you’ve chatted about the basics – like your health status (STD) and birth control – and your relationship is moving in a physical direction, you can ask your partner, questions of a sexual nature. While your partner may share certain details, about past lovers, with you, no two relationships, or people, are the same. Forget your playbook, and have fun, but remember that there are boundaries too.
Your partner may prefer not to answer, or, you may regret asking, as she describes in clear detail, her affair with a French stud. Pillow talk or spicy questions, but remember that women are judged very differently to men. Sexual questions can be about attraction, or, intimacy, too.
- Do you like sexy movies? Would you watch one with me….
- Would you do a striptease….
- What was your first kiss like? Shall we recreate it?
- Have you ever tried bondage? What are your feelings about it?
- Is it hot in here?
- How do you feel about roleplay? Do share your sexy nurse/ teacher/librarian fantasy….
- Do you know how beautiful you are – in that dress/ the moonlight/ sunlight/to me….(*Women spend a lot of time, and money, on their appearance. Women appreciate compliments. Women have many insecurities about their bodies, and your compliments will help your partner feel more relaxed. Unlike men, women are often judged more on their appearance than their skills, or work. )
- Shall we have a pillow fight?
- Do you have a headache?
- Would you like a massage?
Intimacy and growing your physical connection means you can ask more personal questions, and, just be yourself. Don’t Google the whole internet, rather be spontaneous, and heartfelt. If you’re stuck for something to say, just go for compliments. There really can’t be too many.
Deep Questions To Ask A Girl
We all have questions about life, and you can enjoy a really interesting discussion by asking questions that are really thought-provoking! Deepen your connection by moving into more challenging territory. Don’t shy away from your potential differences, but embrace our unique, and varied views, on life. You can ask a wide variety of questions that touch on universal topics, like politics, spirituality, emotions, or, controversial subjects.
- What are your feelings about life…after death?
- How do you feel about capital punishment?
- What do you think about global warming, energy conservation, and the environment?
- Do you think money can buy you happiness?
- Do you think marijuana should be legalized?
- Do you think euthanasia is an ethical practice?
- Abortion: the right to life, or a woman’s choice? What do you believe?
- Work to live, or live to work? Do you think people are slaves to their careers at the expense of family life?
- Does technology improve the quality of life?
- Stress is a common modern health condition, with unrealistic time expectations when it comes to the modern workplace. What is your working environment like? How do you destress? (You can always offer your expert massage skills, a proven way to relax the mind and body!)
“I love walking by the sea, running, and meeting a friend for coffee. And chocolate. It’s a delicious treat that I love.”
“I love a big glass of wine, at the end of the day. Play some jazz, and love cooking.’’
“I have mixed feelings about abortion. I understand both arguments. I guess I’m on the fence.”
Questions that move to conceptual ideas, and social issues, and belief systems, are far more controversial than questions about daily life. Don’t ask too many! You don’t want your conversation to feel like a lecture either – be sure to gauge your date’s reactions. If you sense her reluctance to talk about an issue, such as abortion, move onto a friendlier question. Remember that everyone is entitled to their point of view! The debate is healthy – an insulting argument is not.
Funny Questions To Ask A Girl
Speaking to a girl you like, can be a daunting prospect. Men often fear rejection, and are too shy to break the ice! A funny, or cute question – can break nervous tension! Get your evening started with a funny question! Interesting facts, and keeping things light, is a great way to get the conversation ball rolling!
- Do you know that one in five people is Chinese?
- Did you know that some people can’t curl their tongues? It’s a genetic trait ….
- Did you know earlobes are attached, or not joined to the head? It’s also a genetic trait.
- Do you know that a Kiwi is a fruit, a bird, and the nickname for people who come from New Zealand?
- Can you do a voice impression of a celebrity? What secret talent do you have?
- Do you know that our height is matched by the span – or width- from our fingertips, on each hand?
- Would you do one of those crazy “naked’’ survival reality shows, where you’re dropped off somewhere remote and have to fend for yourself – with a complete, but very naked, stranger. (A few well-placed grass “clothes” but really, a crazy way to test your survival skills.)
- If you were offered a million dollars to sleep with a person, would you?
- What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten? Insects, frog’s legs, snails….
- Did you ever dream of being a pop star? Who is, or was, one of your teen idols?
“I won’t eat anything foreign. Gross! You won’t see me eating anything crazy like frogs, snails or foreign food.’’
“I love exotic food – frog’s legs taste like chicken! Have you tried them? You’d never guess what you were eating!’’
“I’d love to do a Naked Survivor show, I’d be great at it. I’m a natural.’’
“I think it’s nuts. I love watching but the mosquitoes would finish me off. I’d be walking back to the nearest hint of civilization and getting my naked self out of there, pronto.’’
Random Questions You Can Ask A Girl
It may seem a little strange, but there are so many interesting things we can learn about each other. Talking to a girl you like may make you a little shy. A few, super random questions, can help to relax you and generate interesting conversation too. Flirty conversation is always fun, and it really doesn’t matter what you’re talking about – your date will be very interested to learn about you, too. Similar to interesting questions, totally random ones, can keep your conversation fresh, and lively!
- Chicken or beef? (Unless your date is vegetarian!)
- What is your favorite season? Are you a summer water baby, or Spring time sweetie?
- Do you like reading paper books, or, kindle?
- Have you ever been to Thailand? Would you like to visit Asia? Eat Thai food?
- Do you like Marvel’s movies?
- Batman or Superman?
- Do you shop online … What was the last thing you bought?
- Do you think men and women can be friends? Or is there always chemistry?
- What’s playing on your iPod/ phone/CD player/last song you listened to?
- What is the last film you watched? Was it good? Do you like nature documentaries?
“I love shopping online! I get great deals all the time. How about you?”
“I don’t trust the Internet. Have you seen all the scams?. No way, you won’t catch me putting my information out there!”
“I think men and women can be friends- but- if there’s chemistry….it could be awkward! What do you think?”
“No. I don’t think men are for friends….I have my girlfriends to talk and shop with, I don’t have guy friends….”
“I love BBC Documentaries, aren’t they fascinating. David Attenborough is a genius. I watched one on the Great Barrier Reef……”
“I’m a huge fan of Batman, Spider-Man, and Superman, I wanted to be Supergirl when I was little…”
You are learning about each other, and about your date’s interests. Nature documentaries may send you straight to sleep, but, for other people, they are very enjoyable. We all have special hobbies, and interests, and would be bored to tears by someone who matched us too closely.
These are pretty random questions, but, think of them as “warm-up” questions. You can also think of them as icebreakers. The more detailed, and specific your questions are, the more you should be able to learn and share, with your date.
Personal Questions To Ask A Girl
Personal questions are just that – personal. If you are in relationship territory and have a close friendship, or, connection, then you can ask personal questions. However, asking personal questions too soon spells disaster. Be sensitive to the fact that people, and women especially, only share personal information with people they trust. Trust has to be established. You may adore, and want to know everything about your dream girl, but, rather, share at the level she does. Don’t confess all your personal opinions, and stories – share a little, and grow your bond.
- Were you raised in a certain religion? Are you religious? Are you a member of a particular faith?
- Do religious differences concern you?
- Do you believe in a higher power?
- Are you looking for a long-term partner, or are you dating casually?
- Would you like to have children? Do you have children?
- How do feel about adoption?
- Do you think both partners are equal, in a marriage? Should there be a breadwinner? Should one parent be more reconsidering for childcare?
- Would you like to be a stay at home Mom, if you had the opportunity?
- Is your career, or job, something you plan to do forever?
- How do you feel about marriage? Do you think it’s outdated, or important?
“I’m happy to date, right now. My last relationship ended, and I’m not ready for anything serious right now….I’m happy to play things by ear…how about you?”
“I’m tired of casual dating, I’m looking for a future partner….”
“I think adoption is wonderful, and more people should consider giving children, in need, a loving home.”
“I think adoption is great, but, personally, it’s not something I feel comfortable doing –”
“I think a mother should be there for the children, or the father. My Mom worked part-time, and we had home-cooked meals. I’m not sure modern families, with two working parents, always spend enough time with their children.”
“I’d hire an au pair, childcare is a job, but, my career is important too. I’d never give up my career to stay at home. Even if I could afford to.”
These are very important questions, and asking them is very important, too. However, should you leap into these types of questions, too early in dating, you will probably scare your dream girl and have her running for the proverbial hills. Yes, you may be a catch, and maybe you’re ready to settle down, or, don’t want to waste time, but, coming on too strong can lead to disaster!
Whether it’s a whirlwind romance, or you’ve fallen head over heels, be realistic – talk, as they say, is cheap! But, the cost of not taking is even higher! Personal questions need to be asked, especially if you’re serious, and have strong feelings, but, don’t ask too many at once!
Never Ask A Girl The Following Questions
There are some questions you should steer clear of, and, if the girl you like, shares the information with you, then pat yourself on the back. Women are much more sensitive to some issues, and you should rather leave some things a mystery. Questions about weight, exercise, size, food, calories, and diets – while you may have good intentions at heart – will hurt women on a much deeper emotional level, in comparison to a man.
You may love your dream girl, no matter her size, and have her best interest at heart, but, all a women will hear is: you don’t think I’m attractive/ you don’t love me/ you’d rather be with someone skinnier/prettier/gym bunny. It will not be seen as a kindness or concern – even if it is – but viewed as rejection. Tread carefully, should you feel the need to ask any of the following types of questions:
- How much do you weigh?
- What is your bra size?
- What size clothes/jeans?
- Are you on a diet?
- Should you be having that giant chocolate milkshake/ pizza?
- Have you heard of the Banting/ Weight watcher diet?
- Do you know how bad coke is for you?
- Have you been to the gym, recently?
- Do you know how many calories are in that?
- Do you always talk this much?
- How much do you spend on clothes/makeup/ hair etc?
There are some questions you will never know the answer too. Women spend a lot of money on clothes, makeup, beauty products, hair products, and accessories. Far more than the average man. Women care a lot more about fashion trends and changing their wardrobe and accessories, according to new trends. Yes, there are classic choices, that remain timeless, but, for women, and for some men, clothing is more about expressing your personality, than simply serving a functional purpose. Sexy lingerie, for example, is generally speaking, highly impractical, but, most women would agree, worth the sometimes scandalous prices!
Questions To Ask A Woman You Like…..Conclusion
Speaking to a woman you like can be a daunting prospect. We all feel nervous, especially when it comes to making conversation with people we feel attracted to. You may clam up like this little shellfish, and feel your body getting hot; perhaps you tend to talk too quickly! Both of these can be a problem when communicating with the opposite sex.
Take a deep breath, and exhale, and remember that your lady friend may be feeling just as nervous as you. Be brave, and smile, and simply ask a question, to get the conversation going? Is it a first date, or are you feeling a little disconnected? There are so many questions you can ask, you really can’t go wrong, but, if you’re feeling stuck – just start with one! How are you, today? Or, how was your day?
Don’t judge this simple question! It shows you are interested, and it’s the polite way to start any conversation! Relax, have fun, and – who knows – maybe you’ll be popping another type of question, altogether, in the future!
In A Nutshell: Final Tips
- Relax, smile and breathe! We all get nervous around people we like! That nervous feeling is your body’s way of telling you something too! Your heart may be racing a little, those sweaty palms, and flushed cheeks….are your bodies way of saying: oh hello gorgeous!
- Communication is not only about our words, but, about body language too! Are you open, and making eye contact, or holding on too tightly to that beer? Center yourself, and smile.
- Questions lead naturally to topics of conversations, but, don’t “interview” your date. Talking to someone you like is more challenging.
- Once you’ve chatted a bit, and know each other a little more, it’s much easier to ask more specific questions. You will both feel more relaxed, and conversation should be smoother.
- Keep things interesting, and share your own views too. Remember that women will tend to share more information with a man they trust. Don’t be offended if your date answers generally, or seems a little hesitant.
- Think about the questions you might like to ask your date, but, pace yourself. Never rush in with “relationship” questions. Just like you, she may be dating other people, too.
- Be a gentleman, and by all means, ask challenging questions too, but, save the deep and controversial topics for when you are better acquainted.
- Nobody likes a know it all! Perhaps you’re a whizz with general knowledge but your date may not be, or, she may be feeling a little tongue-tied. Really, it’s a compliment to you, should she seem a little distracted, and unable to temporarily remember the capital city of Thailand.
- Being flirty, and laughing, and debating your different views about life, will lead to a stronger connection.
- Speaking to someone you like might make you feel hesitant and anxious. It takes a lot more courage to begin a conversation with someone you find attractive.
Susan majored in English with a double minor in Humanities and Business at Arizona State University and earned a Master’s degree in Educational Administration from Liberty University. She taught grades four through twelve in both public and private schools. Subjects included English, U.S. and world history and geography, math, earth and physical science, Bible, information technologies, and creative writing.
Susan has been freelance writing for over ten years, during which time she has written and edited books, newspaper articles, biographies, book reviews, guidelines, neighborhood descriptions for realtors, Power Point presentations, resumes, and numerous other projects.