Sometimes, the best relationships start from the worst first dates. Other times, bad pick-up lines can be like punchlines: we’re supposed to laugh, but we just groan and roll our eyes instead.
Table of Contents
Whether you’re into bad pick-up lines or they make you want to gag, there’s a certain fascination we all have with them. People may like to use pick-up lines to ease the pressure, break the ice, or simply demonstrate that they don’t take themselves too seriously.
Some of these pickup lines are dreadful, some cringeworthy, and some a little endearing. However, they’re all bad, and even the ones that make you smile will also make you roll your eyes.
Here are some of the most awful pick up lines we’ve heard of: you can use them to make others laugh, or try them out if you’re really bold!
Worst Pick Up Lines
We’re going to go ahead and get the very worst of the worst pick up lines out of the way. These are simple and either mildly offensive or inappropriate. I wouldn’t recommend using any of these.
- Wow. You’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop.
- If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
- Will you grab my arm? I want to tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel.
- Are you certified in CPR? Because you just took my breath away.
- Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
- Are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you kids.
- Hi, I’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?
- Are you a marsupial? Because you meet all of my koalafications.
- Are you Alexa? Because you’re the answer to all my questions.
- There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.
- You must be from Nashville because you’re the only ten I see.
- I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together!
- Where have I seen you before? Oh yeah, I remember. Your name was in the dictionary right next to the term “gorgeous”!
- If you were an Autobot, you’d be Optimus FINE.
- My hand is super heavy…can you hold it for me?
- Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I scraped my knee falling for you.
- Do you have a name, or can I just call you ‘mine?’
- You must be so tired after running through my mind all day.
- I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
- Do you drink milk? It sure did your body good.
- I have two percent battery left, and I chose to message you. Did I choose wisely?
- Excuse me. I think you dropped something. Nevermind, it’s just my jaw.
Terrible Pick Up Lines
If you want corny pickup lines, here are your options. These lines are more than just clever puns–they will make any guy or girl roll their eyes and walk away. If you’re very lucky, it will elicit a chuckle and they might work.
- Somebody call the cops because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!
- I wish you were my toe, so I could bang you on every piece of furniture in my house.
- Are you a banana? Because you are very appealing.
- If you were words on a page, you would be the fine print.
- I’m in the mood for pizza–a pizza you!
- Do you believe in love at first sight—or should I walk by again?
- There’s got to be something wrong with my eyes–I can’t take them off of you!
- Are you a dictionary? Cause you’re adding meaning to my life.
- From one to America, how free are you tonight?
- Do you like cheese? If you get with me I’ll show you a gouda time.
- Your middle name has to be Gillette, right? Because you’re definitely the best a man can get!
- Hey girl–sprechen zi Deutsche? Because I want to be GerMAN.
- Are you a camera? Because each time I look at you, I smile.
- Ma’am, I’m going to need you to step away from the bar–you’re melting all the ice.
- You must be yogurt because I’m dying to spoon you.
- Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place?
- When you’re not around my heart is like swiss cheese—full of holes.
- I’d ask you to the movies, but they don’t allow us to take in snacks 🙁
- Hey, can you tie your shoes? Because I wouldn’t want you to fall for anybody else.
Stupid Pick Up Lines
Next up, we have some less than intelligent pick up lines. These work if you’re trying to make someone laugh, but not trying to impress them with how smart you are. After all, smarts aren’t for everyone, but pick up lines just might work.
- Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work, but I feel like I should take you out.
- Want a fig? How about a date?
- Is your name Ariel? Because we Mermaid for each other.
- You must be a perfect test because I want to take you home and show you to my momma.
- Was your father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!
- If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
- Are you a drummer? Because my heart’s beating faster now.
- If you were a chicken, you would be impeccable.
- Remember me? Oh, that’s right. I’ve only met you in my dreams.
- You must be a dairy product because you are looking Gouda tonight!
- If beauty was a grain of sand, you’d be a thousand beaches.
- I went to my doctor, and he told me I have a serious deficiency of Vitamin U!
- Is your dad Liam Neeson? Because I’m Taken with you.
- I just learned about some great dates in history. Wanna be the next one?
- Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you look like a snack.
- Excuse me–do you have an extra heart? Mine was just stolen.
- If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you’d be the McGorgeous.
- Is there an airport nearby, or was that just my heart taking off?
- Were you forged by Sauron? Because you’re my precious.
- Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.
- Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future!
- Do you work at Dick’s? Because you’re sporting the goods!
- NASA called. They said you’re out of this world.
- Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still roam the earth, right?
- You owe me a drink. Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine!
- Was your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
- Would a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?
- I’ve lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?
Cringe Pick Up Lines
Nobody wants to come off as cringe to the person they are interested in or attracted to. That’s why you should avoid these cringe pick up lines.
You might get a number after trying out one of these cringe-worthy pick up lines — but it’ll likely include a few incorrect digits.
- If you were a vegetable, you’d be a CUTEcumber!
- I bet you didn’t know that you and the earth have something in common. You and the planet are both getting hotter each year!
- Are you made of nitroglycerin? Because girl, you’re dynamite!
- Call the CDC–your smile is contagious!
- Are you a witch? Because you’ve enchanted me!
- You must be a magician. Because any time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
- You know what you would look really beautiful in? My arms.
- I’ve got forks and I’ve got knives. All I need is a little spoon.
- Feel my shirt. It’s made of boyfriend material!
- If I had four quarters to give to the four prettiest women in the world, you would have a dollar!
- You’re like the Renaissance after the Dark Ages. You light up my world!
- Were we just talking? No? Well, can we start?
- If I had to rate you from 1 to 10, I’d give you a 9 because I’m the 1 you’re missing.
- Well, here I am. You have two more wishes.
- If you were an American president, you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.
- If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
- Are those space pants? Because your butt is outta control!
- You must be Thomas Paine because we are Common Sense together.
- Just so you know, I wrote a complaint to Spotify–you totally deserved this week’s hottest single.
- Were you a Boy Scout? You’ve tied my heart in a knot.
- My favorite word is menu…It has me n u 🙂
- Your body is 70 percent water… and I’m thirsty.
Played Out Pick Up Lines
We’ve all heard these pick up lines, and they aren’t just getting old; they have passed away.
Unless you want to come off as someone who has been hiding under a rock for two decades, try more up-to-date pick up lines than the ones listed below.
- Uh-oh! If you’re down here, who’s running heaven?
- If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
- Are you in a band? Your voice is music to my ears.
- Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
- Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
- If you were a taser, you’d be set to stun.
- Your hand looks heavy—can I hold it for you?
- I seem to have lost my number—can I have yours?
- I don’t know your name, but I’m sure it’s as beautiful as you are.
- Did we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.
- Are you Google? You have everything I’ve been searching for.
- Are your parents bakers? Because you’re a cutie pie!
- God was really showing off when he made you!
- It’s a really pretty day outside–nature must be jealous of you.
- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I and U together.
Bad But Admittedly Funny
Okay. So some bad pick up lines are just bad, while others do tend to result in some laughs. These pick up lines are bad but still kind of funny.
They’re best reserved for someone you are already dating who knows your silly personality. But of course, if you like one of them, go ahead and try one out the next time someone catches your eye!
- I’m going to need a library card because I definitely need to check you out.
- Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!
- When I text you good night later, what phone number should I use?
- Are you a loan? ‘Cause you’ve got my interest!
- I would say God Bless You, but he CLEARLY already did.
- This may be cheesy but I think you’re grate.
- Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back!
- I’m good at math; I can replace your X, and you wouldn’t need to find out Y.
- I know it’s shocking, but I’m awful at flirting. What do you say to trying to pick me up instead?
- Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!
- You must be a campfire. Because you’re super hot, and I want s’more.
- Are you a neuron? Because you’ve got some action potential.
- Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?
- If you were a booger, I’d pick you.
Although these pick up lines are horrible, you never really know what might happen when you use them.
Some people like to use bad pick up lines to get attention or leave a more memorable imprint on the person they’re interested in.
So if you have the confidence to try out one of these awful pick up lines, don’t let us stop you!
I might try some of these